Be Strong

Tuhan telah mengijinkanku untuk menikmati carut-marutnya dunia yang “diciptakan” manusia. Betapa nafsu manusia bisa menggerogoti segala keindahan dan kenyamanan kehidupan ini. Hingga parameter Tuhan pun bisa menjadi sangat fleksibel, dianggap sah untuk diputarbalikkan, dan tak jarang malah diabaikan.

Tuhan mempercayaiku untuk berdiri diantara polusi moral yang sulit dinetralisasi dengan berbekal kitab yang tak lagi menjadi pedoman inti sang penduduk bumi. Aku bahkan bukanlah remaja yang tumbuh dengan prinsip yang menancap kuat di nadiku, tapi aku tetap ditakdirkan bernafas di era ini. Aku sendiri masih seperti perahu kertas yang bisa dengan mudahnya terombang-ambing dan tenggelam dalam arus sungai yang amat lamban. Atau mungkin seperti benih bunga dandelion yang terpisah berkilo-kilo jauhnya dari sang induk, terbawa angin sepoi-sepoi.

Meskipun begitu, ku coba lalui perjalanan ini tanpa kata menyerah agar tetap ku yakin bahwa Tuhan tak akan menyesal telah menciptakanku. Ya, pernah aku jatuh sejatuh-jatuhnya hingga hampir lupa caranya untuk bangkit berdiri. Pernah aku berlari seperti ditarik ribuan kuda liar hingga hampir ku lupa untuk mengatur nafas dan kedipan mata. Aku. Aku memang harus mengalaminya. Karena mungkin beginilah cara Tuhan membiarkanku belajar sebelum akhirnya kekal di kehidupan yang sudah disiapkan nanti.

Di dunia yang katanya tak sekejam neraka dan tak seindah surga ini, mereka para terpilih memberi uluran semangat yang tak ada tandingannya. Mereka lah, yang kehidupan keluarganya tidak seperti kebanyakan keluarga lainnya, yang masa mudanya tidak seperti kebanyakan individu lainnya. Mereka yang dikasihi Tuhan untuk bertarung melawan ganasnya immoralitas manusia. Mereka yang dicintai Tuhan untuk menghadapi kerasnya dan sakitnya pengkhianatan di dunia. Dan aku bangga kepada mereka yang sanggup berhadapan dengan rasa sakit itu dengan terhormat, yang mungkin buatku, itu cukup menakutkan.

Dengar, betapa kuat dan bahagia mereka nantinya. Dan tunggu, aku akan menjadi sekuat itu. Segera.

Miserably

“People who love you when you need and ask for help to them are family.”

That’s a quote I got from Oprah show. Yeah, there are a lot of people who can help us whenever we ask them, but only a family who love to do that. Let’s reflect to what happen yesterday. Were you my family? You helped me to organize it so that my dream finally happened. But, did you love to do that? Did you help me sincerely and voluntarily? I don’t know, I can never know what the real thought on others' mind and the real feeling on others' heart when they give help.

Then, I remembered about a concept of brotherhood in Islam. Muslims with other Muslims were like a body that its parts need each other. When a Muslim is in bad condition, the other Muslim will feel the same and try to help him/her. It’s more than just an empathy or sympathy. But, did what happen to us yesterday reflect the concept of brotherhood in Islam? I don’t think so. Was it because of the system and rule of our life that you can’t help me? Was the system a boundary among us?

Well, I was hurt. Really hurt. It’s not because the boundary, but because I see the way you explain the boundary. Your statement was like a slap when I was in miserable condition. You whom I thought knowing me well and knowing how I struggled, in fact chose the boundary and neglected me who begged your help.

I think we are a family, at least we are friend. But, I face the reality that I expect you too much. We are just people who stuck on a system. It’s the *ucking system that put us on vertical line where you are higher than me. It’s ok. I know and understand where I stand and how I should behave, I just expect you too much that you can be, at least, my friend.

Motivation

In the first meeting of motivation and managing students for effective learning (MMSEL) class, my friend and I learned about definition of motivation, two types of motivation viewed from where motivation comes, and theoretical views of motivation.

From our discussion and from what my lecturer’s explanation, I conclude that motivation is psychological factor which encourage and direct individual to do or achieve something. It should be created and maintained either by the individual itself, by others, or both. Therefore, motivation can be viewed as a sustained process created to encourage individual to do what intended to do.

Motivation can come internally from the individual itself or be forced by external factor which is outside the individual. Thus, motivation, according to where it comes, can be divided into two types which are intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. Intrinsic motivation can be created because of individual’s passion, curiosity, self-determination, interest, desire, dream, and so forth. Besides that, extrinsic motivation can be forced by challenge, social or economical factor, rewards, friendship, and so forth. So does in teaching and learning process, for instance, students who has interest in certain subject will intrinsically motivated to learn the subject and involve in learning and teaching activities given by the teacher. Other example, students who like being given a reward by the teacher when they do the best will extrinsically motivated to learn. They learn and perform as the best as they can because they want to get the reward.

However, I am confused whether responsibility given is extrinsic motivation and whether feeling is intrinsic motivation. Responsibility is given by other, it seems like extrinsic motivation, but if the individual itself is not responsible (intrinsic factor) she/he probably will be not motivated. Then, when individual do something because she/he is happy, is it intrinsic motivation? As we may know, feeling is intrinsic factor which affected by external factor.

There are some theories which view motivation from different perspective. First, behaviorist theory views motivation from behavior changes as a product of individual experiences in his/her environment. Individuals receive external stimuli such as rewards, punishment, etc. that make them change their behavior. It is different with social cognitive and humanistic theories that focus on intrinsic motivation. Social cognitive theory emphasizes more on intrinsic motivation like individuals’ assumption, belief and thought that make them intend and attempt to do or achieve something. Whereas, humanistic theory views individual as human being who want to grow and accomplish their personal needs. It is like what Maslow described on his theory “hierarchy of needs”. The last perspective is from socio-cultural theory. It views motivation as a need to involve in community so that every individual can support each other to maintain and accomplish their goals.

For me, as the next generation of teacher, knowing deeply about motivation is a must. As what I have write above that motivation is psychological factor. It means it is an abstract thing that we can see only from its symptoms. Teachers should be able to recognize its symptoms well so that they can convince when their students are motivated or unmotivated. Moreover teachers also need to know various ways to motivate their students and how they can design teaching and learning activity that can motivate them.

Let It Flow

Oke. Itu doang yang bisa gue ucapkan dalam hati pas gue tau kalo kerjaan yang gue kerjain semaleman ternyata Cuma berakhir di tong sampah si bos tanpa pernah gue tau sebelumnya. Hari ini, bos nyodorin sebuah proposal dan meminta gue buat edit isinya. Proposal apa lagi, gue kira. Eh ternyata mirip banget sama proposal yang waktu itu udah nyangkut di tong sampah. Gue rasa Imo yang bikin, sekertaris bos yang lain. Dia emang kerjanya cepet. Mungkin karena lebih cepet dari gue. Dan bos percaya aja sama dia. Padahal kerjaannya ternyata gak becus. Dan ujung-ujungnya, kerjaan dia yang berantakan akhirnya keluyuran juga di meja kerja gue setelah bos nyadar kalo isinya perlu editan di sana sini. Dan parahnya, apa yang pengen bos edit sebenernya udah nyaris sama dengan yang gue kerjain dulu. Kayaknya, saking bos gak percaya kerjaan gue, makanya tuh proposal nyemplung ke tong sampah tanpa sempat dia cek.

Emang sih, kerjaan gue lebih ringan karena file proposal lama itu masih tersimpan rapi di laptop butut gue. Tapi, masalahnya harga diri gue, man. Mana bisa si bos memperlakukan gue seenaknya kaya gitu di saat kerjaan gue bener. Sadis. Tapi dan tapi, gue Cuma bisa menggerutu di tulisan ini tanpa bisa ngejitak si bos yang jelas-jelas punya power yang gue gak punya—uang dan kekuasaan.

Oke. Itu lagi yang bisa gue ucap. Yang sabar aja jadi kacung. Kenapa kacung, karena tugas gue sebagai sekertaris justru jadi lebih mirip juru tulis dan juru ketik, kadang jadi juru photocopy atau juru bikin kopi si bos. Sama sekali jauh dari arti sekretaris itu sendiri yang kata dosen gue dulu berasal dari kata secret. Yang berarti sekretaris itu tukang jaga semua arsip dan rahasia perusahaan. Mungkin juga rahasia si pimpinan, termasuk rahasia hubungan gelapnya. Udah rahasia gelap pula. Dan.. karena gue Cuma dianggap kacung disini, berarti gue harusnya gak punya tanggung jawab buat jaga rahasia perusahaan ataupun orang yang satu ini, (baca si bos), meskipun ya di ID gue emang tertulis "sekretaris".

Gue pernah baca salah satu quote orang yang gue gak hafal namanya. Intinya quote itu bilang, orang lain bakal treat lu sesuai dengan gimana lu treat mereka. So, karena gue diperlakukan sebagai kacung, maka… ah, tiba-tiba pikiran jahat datang di otak gue untuk membuka kedok si bos. Tapi, gue orang yang nyantai, Cuma ngikutin arus kehidupan. Gue gak akan kurang kerjaan ngelaporin si bos ke bosnya si bos a.k.a istrinya, tentang kerjaan si bos yang lembur di hotel bareng cewek satu ke cewek lainnya. Sekali lagi, gue nyantai orangnya, let it flow. Tapi jangan salahin gue kalo istri si bos melakukan investigasi dan meminta gue jadi saksi. Kalo itu emang flow-nya, ya gue jalani. Beres.